I’m Sorry.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that our friendship had to end the way it did.

I’m sorry for everything I did, everything I said that ever hurt you.

I’m sorry that the depths of depression we both explored,

Were undeniably sourced in our relationship with one another.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that I have to be so harsh, so firm,

When I tell you that things must never become that way again.

I’m sorry that you are having a hard time understanding

That my hurtful actions

Aren’t meant for the sake of hurting,

But for our eventual, mutual, spiritual healing.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that my recovery is coming along swifter than yours.

But I’m not sorry.

I’m grateful to God for the grace and healing He has given to me

As a loving gift from Father to Daughter.

I accept His gift with songs of thankfulness and love.

No, I’m not sorry for accepting His grace.

He offered it to me – HE did.

God.

Do you expect me to refuse Him? The Holy of Holies?

The one who died for me?

The one who loves me?

I AM sorry

That you have not yet fully healed.

I’m sorry that it brings you pain

To see me start to be happy again.

It does raise the question

‘Have you ever really loved me.’

After all,

Love is putting someone else first,

Caring more about THEIR welfare than your own…

The fact that you tried today

To make me feel guilty

For finding some happiness…

Love? Is that love?

By definition, it is not.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that you are still in such pain.

I pray for you daily,

Admittedly, some days more than others,

But your recovery

Is always a cause close to my heart.

I pray for your redemption.

I pray that you’ll find joy in God,

In life,

In Music…

I pray that you’ll find joy in all of these things again.

I pray that you can forgive me for saying goodbye,

And I pray that you can forgive me

For being happy.

safety.

“There are no ‘if’s’ in God’s world. And no places safer than other places. The Center of His Will is our only safety… We must pray that we may always know it.”

–The Hiding Place, Chapter 5

 

 

breathe me

 

Matthew 11:28-30

English Standard Version (ESV)

²⁸ Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Kiss Your Life

“Kiss your life. Accept it. Just as it is. Today. Now. So that those moments of happiness you’re waiting for don’t pass you by.”

-Unknown

Lamentations 3:19-24

Lamentations 3:19-24

English Standard Version (ESV)

¹⁹ Remember my affliction and my wanderings,
the wormwood and the gall!
²⁰ My soul continually remembers it
and is bowed down within me.
²¹ But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:

²² The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;^[a]
his mercies never come to an end;
²³ they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
²⁴ “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.”

“So don’t you take all of the credit or the blame…”

We’ll Make it Someday by VocalFew

 

 

 

To Every Othello…

“Speak of me as I am; nothing extenuate,

Nor set down aught in malice: then, must you speak

 

Of one that loved not wisely but too well…”

 

–Othello, Act V, scene ii

Just Trust.

Oh dear today, I shall remember

The happenings that you hold.

 

I breathe in deeply, straining to believe

In the beautiful things I was told.

 

Never before have I truly understood

The phrase ‘too good to be true.’

 

I wage war against my little doubting heart

And  beg the LORD to see this good thing through.

 

I look up. He smiles.

I blush with shame.

 

How could I ever doubt the King

Who brought this deceitful peasant into His own Home…

Brought me into His own family

To bear His own Son’s Name.

 

I speak to Him silently,

“Kill my doubt. It seeks to make me forget how beautiful my soul’s Lover is.”

 

Peace fills my lungs,

Giving me the courage to leap off the cliff’s edge

And glide to safety

On the Wings called trust.

 

I doubt on account of mortal man’s track record for letting me down.

How silly of me to forget that You are the one who defied death itself for me.

 

You are great enough

To guide home

The little lost sheep.

 

You can. And you will.

 

I trust You.

 

In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.  –Philippians 1:4-6

 

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” –John 16:33

 

God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? –Numbers 23:19

 

<< Titus 1 >>
New International Version

---

1Paul, a servant of God and an apostle of Jesus Christ to further the faith of God’s elect and their knowledge of the truth that leads to godliness— 2in the hope of eternal life, which God, who does not lie, promised before the beginning of time, 3and which now at his appointed season he has brought to light through the preaching entrusted to me by the command of God our Savior,

4To Titus, my true son in our common faith:

Grace and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Savior.

Will You Save Me?

 

 

 

 

 

Will You Save Me by The Birdsongs

Don’t be hollow anymore.

ROMANS 6

Much love and many prayers.

22

Noisy Mind? Yeah. Me too. But it’s okay. At least it WILL be. : ]

“It’s silent tonight. I’m trying to wrap my head around if everything will be alright…”

-The Rocket Summer

 

Do you ever feel like that? I sure do. …Or else this post wouldn’t be happening. Hah. :P 

 

But there’s something to be said for those familiar sayings: “blessed assurance” and “peace that transcends all understandings.”

 

It really does. I don’t know how I’m not pulling my hair out right now. I don’t understand why, but I’ve got peace. I’ve got assurance. 

 

I have my worries, yes. Yes. Yes. YES.  In a big way.

 

BUT… simultaneously, I can take a step back and breathe. And remember Him telling me “those who who hope in me will not be disappointed.”

 

I remember Him telling me that He’s “working all things together for the good of those who love Him.”

 

You don’t have to wrap your head around whether or not it’s all going to be alright. It will be. If you love Him. Rest your head in His lap and pray that He’d give you the grace to love Him more with each sunrise.

 

I’m not sure who said this, but I love this quote:

 

Sleep…Sleep

Baby, sleep.

Life is long.

Love is deep.

 

Goodnight, friends. May God calm your hearts, quiet your minds and salvage your souls from the terror and filth which they are so wounded by.

 

Love always,

 

Twenty2